Last call for your Moho secrets!

On Saturday, I asked you to share your short secrets.  And every time I see the title I wrote: "Latter Day Confessions: Tell me a secret!" I think of some sleazy magazine article. That's not my intention. I want to give the chance for those who haven't shared their story - to speak out anonymously. (And those who have already shared their story to speak out as well!)  This whole idea came together after I blogged a bunch of short statements on my mind.  

Four days later, the response has been amazing. You've bared your soul to me and I appreciate the comments you've anonymously sent. I think the secrets will be a huge eyeopener for many of us. We'll understand more the deep feelings people have being gay and Mormon. (And hopefully our Mormon friends who aren't gay can get a glimpse into our minds.)  

But I want to give you more time. Keep your secrets coming until this Saturday, Dec. 14 and I'll publish them all on Sunday the 15th.

If you're scared that you'll be the only one sharing - have no fear - I already have at least a dozen secrets - so yours will fit into the mix quite nicely.

I have no way to track you - I can't even write you back to thank you for the secret (unless you send me an email.)

Use the contact form on the right.  Put "Anonymous" in the name field, my email address in the email field (gaymormonsouthpaw AT gmail DOT com) and a 1-3 sentence secret or confession.  (Check out the original post for more info. including MY secret!)

You have a couple more days to think of something.  Thanks, friend!

The GMS Official Guide to Mormon Moving

**WARNING: NON-GAY POST AHEAD**

If you're Mormon, you've likely helped someone move. I feel it's one of the prerequisites to get into heaven. I've helped dozens of folks move. Move-ins, move-outs, same-city moves, same-apartment complex moves. Some went extremely well - almost perfect, and some, not so much.  

I helped a friend move yesterday (it went very well) and it gave me the idea to blog some tips on Mormon Moving. Most of the readers to this blog are Mormon and male, so this will be more amusement, but I have no issues with printing this list out and leaving it with those about to move.  :) This will mainly be for folks that are moving OUT and/or same-city moves. Moving IN is a whole 'nother challenge.  While this may seem like a rant, I find it extremely pertinent information.

GETTING HELP

• Start with the Home Teachers. That's what they're there for.  If they can't (or are too old) have them find help. That's what they're there for. 
• Avoid blanket requests in Priesthood and Relief Society. The person in the audience will just assume the person next to them will help.  
• I HATE when sign-up sheets are passed around in EQ, so use them as a last resort. 
• Make yourself known in the ward before asking for help. A single member I had never seen and never attended any activity expected all this help from the EQ. It kinda bugged me.  
• Use Facebook and post in church/friend groups. Ask that those who are available respond in the comments.  Tell helpers you'll have food.  
• No surprises. If you live on the 4th floor with no elevator, warn us in advance.  
• Please don't single out those with trucks. With the money you're saving on movers, go rent a moving truck.  

PREPARATION

• You better have EVERYTHING packed before help shows up. If I see empty boxes and clutter on the floor, I'm automatically in a bad mood.  
• Pack your stuff in legitimate boxes. Walmart bags aren't acceptable. 
• Send (a couple) reminder texts and emails. We forget stuff very easily - especially when it comes to service. Tell helpers you'll have food.  
• For same-city moves, do as much advance work as possible.  (If you can take over 5 boxes on your own, in your own car the day before - do it!)  The help you get on moving day should be for the large items.  
• Keep the move date and time appropriate. Don't expect much help if you move Wednesday afternoon at 4pm or Friday night at 7pm. Saturday mornings around 9 seems to be the golden hour.  

THE BIG DAY

• Buy food. Have donuts, juice and water when help arrives.  
• Don't observe. Load some boxes yourself and take an end of the couch. Break a sweat. 
• Don't delegate. We've done enough moves to know what we're doing. Leave us alone.  
• If a kid can't pick up a box, they're just in the way. Leave them at home.  
• For moving in - if a helper puts a box meant for the kitchen in the girl's bedroom - just let it be. You'll have plenty of time to put stuff in the right place.   
• Don't waste their Saturday. For many, it's our only free day. I've found that 1 1/2 to 2 hours is the perfect move time. Long enough to feel you've accomplished something but short enough to have the rest of the day open.  
• If you are donating or throwing away (decent) stuff, put it in a pile and offer it to your help. You'd be surprised how much they'll take.  
• Since you chose to use free help, no one is responsible if something breaks.  
• Buy food. If the move ends around lunchtime, get some pizzas. (But don't wait until everyone's finished before ordering. Your help will leave.)  

FUTURE

If the person that just helped you move, has to move a few weeks or months down the road - you better be the first one over to help them.

CONCLUSION

You're getting a bunch of free help - so please be kind. If I charged for all the times I helped move - I could by my nonexistent boyfriend a REALLY nice Christmas gift. Again, while this may seem like a rant, MOST of the time, I've had some fun and enjoyable experiences while helping others move. And I'll help the next person in a heartbeat (just as long as they're familiar with the above tips.)  ;-)

Good luck with any future moves.  

(If I left anything out, please add to the comments!)

Are you pretty enough to be in the flyer?

DISCLAIMER: I don't want this to turn into a 'Woe is me...' blog so I thought I'd take a stab at some humor. (Which means I'll likely offend some people in the process.)  Deep breath.  Here goes....

I have a few friends who belong to the North Star - and other related - Facebook groups. I have also stalked these pages a time or two. Which means, I'll get sponsored ads on my feed from said groups. Recently, I've seen ads for the Reconciling Faith and Feelings Conference in Utah. Apparently, it's this weekend.  (And goes from 9am to 6pm.  Sheesh.  What a waste of a Saturday.) But one thing stood out to me. The people in the flyer (or is it flier?) are so.... pretty. Young, attractive, clean-cut, good-looking men and women. (And then there are a few old dudes tossed in just for grins.)  Here is the flyer in question:

I'm not going to assume this is the actual demographic that will attend the conference, but I will assume the following. (This is where the humor part comes in, please bear with me.)  :-)

I assume this is how the meeting between the Faith & Feelings Committee and graphic designer went:

Member of committee:  Ok, let's build a flyer for this thing so we can get tons of people to come!  

The key word is -- PRETTY! Use one of the cute girls as the spotlight, because we gotta get these single gay guys attracted to the ladies!   

Make sure everyone looks so happy (especially the wives), despite all their "struggles."   

Go ahead and put in David Mathe$on so he can $$promote$$ hi$ Center for Gender Wholene$$, and while you're at it, to$$ in a couple other therapi$t$ a$ well.    

Make sure everyone is against gay marriage. (Sorry Josh Weed, guess you didn't make the cut.)   

Don't forget Ty Mansfield, because he just screams pretty.  

Just remember: stick with the "pretty" and "happy" theme.    

Perfect teeth is vital.   

And with whatever space you have left, add the old dudes.   

Pop in Moroni and you're done!

Yep.  That's exactly how that meeting went.  :)

My attempt at being funny is just a sidetrack from a future serious post of how groups and meetings like these are damaging to gay Mormon youth and men/women.  This is NOT an assumption.  I know this thanks to all the private conversations I've had with other gay Mormons who are afraid or not ready to be that voice.  The future post is still being written in my head.

In the mean time, I kinda wish I could attend the conference just for all the eye candy.  ;)

And a special shout out to the flyer dude two to the right of (Gay) Mormon Guy:  If you ever change your mind: