Monday, March 30, 2015

Confession time! Here's what's on your mind - Round 2

Two weeks ago, I started the 2nd annual Moho Confessionals. I requested anonymous secrets from you all on what it's like to be gay and Mormon. Below are the 14 confessions I received. (Which is considerably less than the 26 I received the first go around!!) But there are a few differences this time. The secrets are deeper, more surprising, and more complicated. I've had to tell myself it's all about quality than quantity in putting together this post! I wish some of these comments WERE NOT anonymous because I have a few follow-up questions to these!

The secrets below are unedited. I'd love to hear your response.

And finally, the last confession is actually looking for some advice. Please direct any suggestions to this Moho in the comments.

This concludes my commentary. The below points are all user submitted.

  • I skipped Elder's Quorum Presidency meeting last week to get tattooed - I now have two tattoos and three body piercings ... and my wife still hasn't noticed
  • I'm not LDS.  I found some Moho blogs some years ago when I was first coming out and found it interesting to see a similar experience from another perspective.  The thing is, I'm now a well-adjusted, out gay guy and I still read these.  I don't know why I still read them.  I feel sort of bad about it, actually.  I recently made a friend who's a gay Mormon and I feel especially weird about it around him.  I'm worried he will think I'm really strange if he finds out. 
  • I think I've subconsciously antagonized every romantic relationship I've ever been in, both male and female, simply because I'm afraid I'm making the wrong choice
  • Sometimes, I wonder if I might be bi, and I am to scared to try being with a woman.
  • started texting a guy in my ward I was 93% certain that was gay. I finally screw up enough courage after 3ish months to ask the guy out on a date. Get rejected. Like a boss. kidding he was really nice about it saying how that he "admired my courage" and all but wanted to stay friends. I can't help but wonder is it because I'm not good enough, or does he just not want to date.
  • I've been married for almost 17 years - wife, 2 kids, still active in church ... and I also have a boyfriend.
  • I've tried so hard to balance being gay and LDS, but once I concluded the church isn't true, it's tons easier to separate myself from religion.
  • Gay, Mormon and wondering if I want to break any commandments before I get endowed.  Nah, probably not.
  • I'm 31 and have had body image issues since about 2nd grade. I haven't been shirtless in public for about 14 years now and haven't been to a swimming pool in as many years. I've been out and trying to date for 3 years now but have never been on a 2nd date and am still a complete virgin.
  • My wife said I was gay and thus didn't really love her.  Then she left me for another woman.
  • When I was in high school, another boy in my ward and I would feel each other up while riding in the YM Presiden'ts van on the way to our early morning monthly temple trips. We always pretended to be sleeping. The van didn't have good heating, so he always had blankets. Am I going to hell?
  • I have a weakness for hot Asian guys. I dream about Steven Yeun from the Walking Dead.
  • I did all the things that were expected of a good Mormon boy, return missionary, BYU grad, etc. Broke up with my college girlfriend when I moved away from Happy Valley (it was time to put up or shut up - so thankful that I shut up! Tho she was and still is an amazing woman) and met my first boyfriend about a year later.  Actually he was the first person I ever met that was openly gay. Many years later reconnected with my college girlfriend on Facebook.  She is now living her happily ever after with her wife.
  • Preparing to serve a mission... any advice on how not to fall in love with one's companion?


Sunday, March 22, 2015

Deadline extended! There's still time to confess!

At my work, we'll have contests to recognize outstanding work in various departments. However, to win the contest, you have to submit your own work. An email will go out with the deadline to submit, and a couple days before, we'll usually get another email that says "Deadline extended!" What that email really means is that few people submitted their work, and they just need more entries.

That's what is happening right now! Last week, I asked folks to anonymously submit a secret or confession on being gay and Mormon (or just gay!) I got several responses, but just not enough to make a whole blog post about them. (And well below the 26 responses I got the first go around.)

I made the original deadline today, but let's see what happens if I tack on another week! (So Sunday, March 29, 2014.)

Use the Contact Form on the right and tell me something interesting about you. (If you don't like the word "confession," just think of it as an icebreaker at a party where you ramble off a couple facts no one knows about you.) It's cathartic, fun, and I've promised to throw in a couple of my secrets as well!

Again, this is done 100% anonymously and I have no way to track you down. So before you leave this page, tell me something about you!

Here are random things you can submit (these are just ideas; do what you want!) which I'll share in a future blog post:

  • Celebrity crushes
  • Friend crushes
  • Coming out stories
  • Still in the closet stories
  • What's it REALLY like being gay and Mormon
  • Secrets from the married crowd 
  • How you REALLY feel about General Conference 
  • How the church handles LGBT issues
  • Etc, etc. 

Be brief and make this fun! Check out last week's post for a review.

Sunday, March 15, 2015

Moho Confessionals: Tell me a secret, part deux

It's time for the 2nd Annual Moho Confessionals brought to you by you, the wonderful reader!

This all started after a post I made in 2013 where I rambled off a few personal facts and thoughts. That gave me the idea to ask for facts and thoughts from you all. Days later, I had 26 confessions covering what it's like to be gay and Mormon.

It's been over a year since those 26 anonymous items were released, so I thought it would be time to do it again! (New readers, new ideas, new updates.) That last one MAY be an oxymoron.

A year ago, I did this mainly for fun, but have learned that this could be in someway cathartic. Through personal chats and conversations, I've learned that many Moho's are still very much in the closet. I've learned that some married Moho's are confused, struggling, unsure of their future. I've learned that some Moho's are having serious doubts with the church and its doctrine. I've also learned that many of you are happy being gay and life's going well. I could go on and on. Sharing these deep thoughts and feelings is a step in the right direction. We can't keep all this stuff bottled up, even if it's done anonymously.

And on that note, send me your secrets! What's on your mind? What's something few people know about you?

Use the Contact Form on the right.
Put "Anonymous" under Name.
MY email address under Email (gaymormonsouthpaw AT gmail DOT com.)
Give me a line or two of your secret under Message.

If you remain anonymous, and I encourage it, I have NO way to track you down. (I'm just not tech-y enough!) If you're on a mobile or tablet, you can email the above address from your fake email address. (I know you have one!)

Here are a couple from last year:

  • I have a crush on my best friend. We haven't been friends for all that long (we met recently through MoHo circles), but I can't see myself living without him.
  • I love fun and sexy underwear! Wearing garments was excruciating for me and I'm so glad to not be wearing them anymore. You never know, that forgettable guy in front of you in the checkout line might be me wearing bright pink briefs.
Same rules as last time. PG-13ish and nothing that could get you arrested. Don't leave anything below in the comments section.

Be funny or be serious. It's up to you! And I'll be sure to throw in a couple of MY secrets as well!

BTW, even if you're not LDS, feel free to share a secret too.

Deadline is Sunday, March 22, 2015.

Now, get to work! :)

Sunday, March 8, 2015

The Scent of a Man

Well, hello there! Time for my quarterly check-in! :) Yes, it's been awhile, and I hope everyone is doing fabulous. Lately, I've seriously thought about doing another round of Moho Confessionals. You know, for all the new readers. :) It's the 3rd most read blog post and think it might be fun to bring it back. Thoughts?

Moving on. Some will say that scents can be a powerful memory trigger. I wholeheartedly agree with this theory. When I get a whiff of the hair spray I used as a teenager, it immediately takes me back to high school. When I smell a particular detergent that we used on my mission, it immediately takes me back to knocking doors and doing street contacts. When I make random trips to a certain office that uses apple cinnamon air fresheners year round, I immediately think to Christmas. When I smell bacon, I just get happy.

I sometimes think my sense of smell is stronger and more impactful than the rest because I usually associate things to their odor - good or bad. And for that reason, I try to have a pleasing scent. Good body wash, deodorant, cologne, etc. Same goes for my home. I've smelled some guys' apartments and they smell like feet and sweat - that doesn't fly in my living quarters. I've got a good dose of plug-in air fresheners (not overpowering!) and will usually light a couple candles when people come over. (Confession: I light candles when I'm alone too.)

Why all the talk about smells? Well, there was this guy that visited my work, and his scent was amazing. I can't describe it. It wasn't your typical Acqua di Gio or Eternity. It was unique, subtle and masculine. It could have been a mix of soap and cologne with a hint of Gain detergent. I wanted to trap the odor in a box and carry it around my neck. I didn't want him to leave! And even when he left, the scent lingered for several minutes. Looks-wise, the guy was average, but I was so attracted to him by scent alone.

On many occasions, I've wanted to ask a random guy what cologne he was wearing, but have held back for fear I was giving the impression that I was flirting or something. (Do straight guys mind if gay guys ask about cologne choices?!) I do remember a cashier at Best Buy smelling good (again my sense of smell is really strong!) and asking him what he was wearing. He replied "Nautica Blue," but when I smelled a sample at the store, it smelled nothing like him. I'm always looking for new scents, which is why I have the desire to ask random people what cologne they're wearing. And on that note, anybody care to share their favorite colognes?  :)

Smell ya later.