Sunday, October 13, 2013

Wanna know how your straight friends feel about gay people? Play Macklemore.

First off, I can tell by the page views my 'Weed's Disappearing Act' post generated a lot of interest on the 'net. I've decided to be a good blogger and post any updates I come across. (And not delete my original post.)  ;-)  Right now, looks like Josh is working on a NEW post on gay marriage and should be out soon. Since we have the old version, we'll all be able to compare.  :)

EDIT/UPDATE: Here's the new post. 

Ok, now for the gay story of the day.

Recently, I went to dinner with a big group of friends from church. There were 11 of us and I had a blast. It's two of my favorite things - friends and eating.  

As typical Mormons do, many broke off afterwards. Some went home and others (including me) met at a friend's place to watch a movie. After that, more broke off and a few of us (including me) went to get ice cream. A perfect night was about to end.  (I think I may have a bit of FoMO that Gay Mormon Pioneer brought up in a recent post.)   

While we were chatting in the car, finishing our ice cream, the song "Same Love" by Macklemore came on the radio. The whole time, I was saying to myself, 'Please, friends, don't say anything. Please. Please. Please.' I knew that if anyone spoke up, it would be in a negative way. And I didn't want to change the station because I actually enjoy the song. (Plus, we were in my car, and NO ONE touches my radio!) :) The song was very close to ending, when a good friend that I enjoy being around, said, "I really hate this song." 

Crap. So close.     

I stayed quiet while another person asked, "Why?" Her reply -- It has nothing to do with gay people, but the line "I can't change, even if I wanted to." She then went on a rant that anyone can change their "weaknesses and struggles." "Change is possible, etc" "Gay people don't have to be gay forever." Ouch. And once again, I just stayed quiet and tried to change the subject. I COULD have said something, but it was late, I was upset, and just wanted to go home.    

Is this the general consensus of straight folks?  That we can change at the flip of a switch? That being gay is a weakness?  It bugs me that my Mormon friends just don't get it. And then, I have to sit there with my mouth shut while friends bash others' sexual orientation. Stuff like this pushes me back more into the closet. 

Close friends just aren't ready for my story.     

Anyone else have the awkward Same-Love-comes-on-the-radio-with-friends-in-the-car experience?   

Sunday, October 6, 2013

They just HAD to bring up the gays. (And The Weed's disappearing act.)

Before General Conference started, I really hoped they'd just skip the whole "gay" topic all together. Just skim over it and focus on other things.  In fact, after Saturday's sessions, I thought we were in the clear.

Then on Sunday, we were hit with a double whammy.  Just as I thought things we're 'getting better,' when it comes to equality, Oaks and Nelson takes us a few steps back.  

100% True-Believing-Active-Gay-Mormons are all giddy and relieved because Oaks' and Nelson's talks were just confirmation that they're "doing the right thing."  (And glancing at some Tweets, I feel that some of the SSA's are already rubbing it in our faces.)

The rest of us Moho's are left confused and upset.  Not a good weekend for us gays.  (I checked the Mormons Building Bridges Facebook groups and other blogs and feel it's safe to make this assumption.)

Uchtdorf said the church has "made mistakes" and invited people like me to return to church. The very next day, Oaks says same-sex marriage laws cannot "make moral what God has declared immoral."  Nelson then said "God's marriage pattern cannot be abused, misunderstood or misconstrued."  (So, come back to church, but stick with those celibate ways.  Fun.)  

The above venting is probably nothing new.  We all know what was said in conference.  But here's some quiet controversy that happened over the weekend.

Josh Weed, the poster-boy of Mixed Orientation Marriage, posted quite the blog on Friday.  It was in SUPPORT of gay marriage.   He said, "I believe you can be a good, obedient, temple-recommend-holding Mormon and still support the recognition of gay marriage."  Awesome post.

In the past, I've always been weary of the Weed's and the Mansfield's because their stories are constantly used to prove that it is possible for gay guys to marry women and stay active in the church.  (Even though Josh has specifically said to NOT use his story as an example for those 'struggling with SSA.'  But it still happens.)

After reading Josh's post, I was happy.  He has tons of followers due to his friendly and humorous attitude and it was a step in the right direction. I'm all for marriage equality, and now Josh Weed is too. I like that. I read the comments below the post, and they were, of course, mixed. Some were in accordance and some, sticking with The Family Proc and the scriptures, were in total disagreement.  Still though, it was cool for someone with so much recognition to make this type of stand.  

When Oaks and Nelson were done with their talks, I was curious to see if Josh would post an update or add some sort of disclaimer.  So I returned to his site.  

And the original post was GONE.  DELETED.  WIPED AWAY as if it never even happened.

Thanks to my best friend (Google), the post still exists in cached format.  For those of you who missed it, I encourage you to read it.  EDIT: The cached version only shows 4 comments, but there were around 100 before it was deleted.

Until Josh gives an explanation for deleting this remarkable post, I'm going to call it cowardly for acting like it never happened.  Did his mind magically change over the course of two days thanks to the anti-gay conference talks?  Does he not realize that once something is up on the Internet it will NEVER go away?!  Bad move.

I'm glad this weekend is over.  Now that conference has passed, my Facebook feed can go back to arguments about politics, sports, and pictures of cats.  

UPDATE: Looks like the cached version is gone as well.  If you're really curious about reading the post, contact me.  I saved a copy on my computer.

UPDATE 2: I don't know how these cached pages work, but the post is back again, this time with over 100 comments.

UPDATE 3: He's posted an update.  Not sure yet how I feel about it.  It's emotional, but feel he wrote SO much to detract from his deleted post.