Monday, January 2, 2017

2017: The year of moving on

Happy New Year!

Nearly 365 days ago, I branded 2016 as "the year of being adventurous and trying new things." And in those 12 months, I'd say I succeeded.

I don't want to bore you with all the little details, but I will point out 2 things that made 2016 adventurous:

1. I jumped on the OKCupid bandwagon and went on my first official date with a guy. (Followed by more dates with other guys!)

2. I publically came out as an ex-Mormon/non-believer.

2016 was a great year.

And on that note, I'm labeling 2017 as the 'year of moving on.'

Since I don't consider myself Mormon anymore, I need to completely separate myself from the religion and, well, move on.

I struggled a couple months ago, having the desire to date/hang out with gay Mormons. These Mohos are all great people, but still held on to some belief in the church. This caused confusion and conflict.

I need to move away from the 'gay Mormon' moniker and just be known as 'gay.' (And for those that hate labels - then I'm a 'person.') :-)

The good thing is I'm doing better now than 6 months ago when I came out as an ex-Mormon:

  • It's been a challenge, but I've spent (a little) less time on the ex-Mormon Reddit page. 
  • I wrote (in my head) various responses to Gay Mormon Guy's recent blog posts, but decided it's not worth the effort. (It would just return to the conflict & confusion I mentioned earlier.) 
  • I've stopped obsessing in the lives of those who are gay and stay faithful to the church. I used to get upset when a gay Mormon would announce his engagement to a woman. I used to get upset when a gay guy chose the church over dating dudes.  Now, to be honest, I don't care anymore. The church and the "plan of salvation" always trumps worldly gay desires for these guys, so trying to talk someone out of the church would be wasted breath. 
  • I did not set foot in an LDS church building in 2016, and hope to do the same in 2017. 
  • When people ask about my religion, I now use the line "I was raised Mormon," instead of "I am Mormon." (This was tough to do at first, but I'm slowly feeling more comfortable to say this.)  
  • For some guilty pleasure reading about sexuality, I'm now hooked on books by Jay Bell, which have nothing to do with Mormonism or religion - just some good ole gay fiction.
Now, over the years I've met some amazing gay Mormons/ex-Mormons through this blog or in other forums. And I will continue to communicate with these people both digitally and in-person (You know who you are!) These folks are a major part of my life and a definite exception from my "moving on" goal. 

But for the most part, I hope to get Mormonism out of my life completely. It caused so much heartache and anger in the first 30 years of my life, why should I continue to give it any recognition? I learned very quickly the line "Can leave the church, but can't leave it alone" is very accurate. 

But in 2017, I've decided to leave it alone. 

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